rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
