is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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