Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
