So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
