i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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