He disabled his match.com account in front of me
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize