Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
