dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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