I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I wannas sexs uuuuu
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize