We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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