Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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