I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
3pm strippers are depressing
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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