My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
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Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize