if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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