Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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