i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
