Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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