So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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