no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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