You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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