OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
