Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
