ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
