i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
