Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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