they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
