Dual....:-)
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
