remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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