I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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