Me. At least after what I've been through.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
