This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
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At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
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How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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