You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
