She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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