I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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