she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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