peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
