so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
