porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
