How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Dick very happy bro
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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