The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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