dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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