my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
