Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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