I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just tell him i said nine months
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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