My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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