I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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