i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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