He uses pillows to masturbate.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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