Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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