just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
