You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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