Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
