Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My ATM looks so different sober.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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