Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize