the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today