id be glad to
Need sex. Gaining weight.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop