I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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