Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.

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  (914): she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice. http://tfl.nu/tgnz
  Replies (12) Good night (682) Bad night (3987)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore

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  (405): Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore http://tfl.nu/6icm
  Replies (27) Good night (648) Bad night (3388)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?

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  (859): Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend? http://tfl.nu/yv1m
  Replies (109) Good night (888) Bad night (9380)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I really wanna talk..

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down

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  (817): I really wanna talk.. (1-817): if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down http://tfl.nu/qj3j
  Replies (82) Good night (8053) Bad night (1062)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.

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  (414): Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests. http://tfl.nu/dptn
  Replies (12) Good night (4343) Bad night (1032)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye

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  (763): Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye http://tfl.nu/6gyi
  Replies (10) Good night (863) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal

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  (651): Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal http://tfl.nu/k2ew
  Replies (5) Good night (1143) Bad night (515)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.

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  (765): He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified. http://tfl.nu/qdiz
  Replies (10) Good night (1215) Bad night (660)
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  (714): View more from California

  But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?

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  (714): But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax? http://tfl.nu/2c3b
  Replies (12) Good night (933) Bad night (482)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.

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  (623): At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside. http://tfl.nu/tt6u
  Replies (7) Good night (968) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.

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  (250): Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket. http://tfl.nu/g0f2
  Replies (3) Good night (521) Bad night (943)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me

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  (860): I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me http://tfl.nu/egc4
  Replies (4) Good night (742) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.

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  (339): Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club (570): All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied. http://tfl.nu/56my
  Replies (2) Good night (942) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on

  (226): View more from Ontario

  Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see

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  (519): I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on (226): Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see http://tfl.nu/q9aq
  Replies (1) Good night (827) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.

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  (972): I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs. http://tfl.nu/tu0n
  Replies (1) Good night (1278) Bad night (257)

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