I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
