I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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