rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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